Life Without Discomfort

Last week, I was in Utah visiting family. While there, I set up Skype on my sister in law’s computer and then went to a nearby McDonald’s to see if it worked.  Just as I was finishing the call, an older man walked by and stopped to look. After I finished the call he said, “Do you think I am too old to learn to do that?” I said “That all depends upon your definition of too old.” He looked at me with that odd look that I often get when talking to strangers and I continued. “My definition of too old is DEAD. Go for it.”

He laughed and asked if he could sit down. We chatted for a few minutes and I showed him how Skype works and asked him if he had a computer. He said yes, but his wife was on it twenty four hours a day.  My response was “so…your wife is a genealogy fanatic.” He looked at me with that “how did you know that “ look and slowly said yes. “Not only that” he said,” but  she has tracked down the burial places of hundreds of dead ancestors and has dragged me all over the country to show them to me.”  I said, “That’s not so bad. She could be dragging you all over the country to visit her living relatives. It’s a lot easier visiting the dead ones. You don’t have to be polite when you visit the dead ones.”

I suggested he buy a cheap laptop with a camera and that way he could visit his wife’s living relatives online without having to go to the trouble of driving or flying to make the visit.  That way, when he got tired of listening to the conversation, he could feign transmission problems, shut off his video, or disconnect his microphone thereby making a quick exit back to his shop, or garage or any other quiet, safe place.  He seemed quite taken with the possibilities. I did explain that if used it, he had to remember some basic rules.

·         Always make sure you are dressed. That means more than just underwear.

·         You are not a professional baseball player so never pick your nose or scratch anything.

·         Remember, the camera picks up everything in back of you too, including voices.

·         Always remember to disconnect before making rude comments about the person you were speaking too.

When I was a child, my dad would take us to visit all his widowed aunts.  We guessed he was trying to insinuate himself into the wills of these old ladies. Refreshments were usually presented but there was never any variety.  By the time I was ten, I had guessed that some super salesman had sold a railroad car of stale fig newtons to every old woman in town who could have been even remotely related to my father.  My apologies to Nabisco, but they are not on my preferred eats list even today. It’s really too bad we didn’t have Skype when I was a kid. Think of the flatulance I could have avoided.