TO ROLL OR SPRAY, THAT IS THE QUESTION

An unknown author once said “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” Moderation is a good thing but we have all seen the consequences of overdoing a good thing. Most of us have come across a woman at one time or another who dared not smile for fear of causing her makeup to crack, flake off and land in her vichyoise.


I am not sure what posses some women to go to that extreme but as a kid we use to joke at home about the women who looked like they used a paint roller to apply their disguise. It always seemed a bit wasteful since none of the beautiful women in my life were ever prone to overdue the war paint. Come to think of it, my grandma Tessie never wore any makeup of any kind. Without it she was most elegant. She Who Must Be Obeyed has been known to judiciously apply the paint from time to time but not to the extent that it would rub off on the phone or the chin rest of her violin. None of the women of my life have ever used much camouflage, i.e. the over use of foundations, colorants, fake eye lashes, pancake makeup etc. It just wasn’t necessary.

But for those of you who strive for utter and complete pore eliminating coverage there is really good news. L’Oreal has come out with a new makeup that you actually apply with a roller. No doubt it will take some practice to get it to roll on smoothly without any overlap lines or holidays. (painting terms). I worked once for a commercial painter and it took some practice to apply the latex evenly to a wall and they were always flat. I never once however, painted a wall that had a large nose in the center. Good luck putting a roller over your honker and have it look smooth.

I think it makes better sense to spray it on instead. For approximately $50.00 at the local Home Despot you can purchase a Wagner sprayer and a gallon of latex color matched to whatever shade you want to be that day. You could place a cone over your face to prevent overspray onto the neighbor’s car and pull the trigger. It would take a little touch up around the edges but it would certainly be more even than the roller. You may have to tape off your eyebrows and lashes and plug up your nostrils but what a finish. A little blue tape on the lips would certainly be in order.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end according to Jerry Sienfield.

Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of a wash cloth in the right direction and you are you once again.

Thanks for listening. I feel much better